I want to share this with you as proof that it’s real. I mean, I’ve been struggling with mental health over the past few years and there are times when I don’t feel I have a full grasp on reality. Like when I look at this bike and try to imagine who would want it.
If you happen to be a fan of Bike-urious, you may have noticed that I’ve been writing a few posts for the site recently. It’s a lot of fun, and gives me a reason to do deep dives into the history of various brands and models. Abhi (the founder of Bike-urious) is really knowledgeable, and takes his bikes seriously, so it might not surprise you that he wasn’t interested in a post about this… thing.
I don’t want to come off as condescending or judgemental here. After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And in an election year especially, it’s important to remember that each of us is entitled to our opinion ─ each of us has a right to think what we think. But, really. Come on. What in the what is this?
Someone has taken one of the most enjoyable platforms in motorcycling and turned it into… this. Literally every photo is a new festival of bad decisions.
At one point in its history, this monstrosity was a 2006 Suzuki Hayabusa. Celebrating 25 years in production this year, the Busa is one of the GOATs of biking ─ still praised as one of the best tools for getting from point A to point B at license-losing speed.
Writing about the platform in the September 2024 issue of Bike magazine, journalist Mark Graham declared: “it would be wrong not to give the Suzuki Motor Corporation every slap on the back for continuing to believe in the right of every stepper on earth to avail themselves of something so manifestly bonkers in a world creepingly deprived of such finely wrought violence.”
Perhaps the slap should be aimed higher for the individual responsible for this particular Busa. Like, against the back of their head. Although, this bike is, without question, “manifestly bonkers.”
There’s so much wrong here. Where do you even start?
Forget about the extended swingarm. I’m not going to fight that choice. Some people think those are necessary for drag racing the Busa. Fine. Whatever. And the alligator-print seat covers? OK, you can have those, too. On their own, they bring a certain panache.
The old man in me really questions the absence of a chain guard (and mirrors), though. This is juxtaposed by the fact that the bike retains an element of practicality in the presence of bungee strap points. Chrome-covered bungee points, mind you, but bungee points nonetheless.
Or, should I say, bungee spikes. Spikes are a predominant theme. Pegs, handlebars ─ so many ways to cause a puncture wound. Imagine showing up to the emergency room explaining that you dropped this bike and were impaled by a chrome spike.
So, so much chrome. “About 4 to 5 bands’ worth,” according to the seller. I don’t know what that means, but it’s clearly enough that this thing has chrome frame sliders (speaking of practicality). To highlight all that chrome, the bike has a light kit, apparently. Shame there are no images to show off that feature.
But, of course, the thing that stands out is the… “artwork.” This is why I wanted to share this bike with you. Its custom paint job is so baffling, such an incredibly bad choice, that I question whether it’s real. I mean, I can imagine myself at some point in the future telling someone about this Busa, describing it in every insane detail, and suddenly thinking: “Wait, am I making this up? Surely such a thing doesn’t actually exist. I must be exaggerating.”
I am not, friends. This is real. It is a spikey, chromey, extended-swingarmy reality that appears to have a custom paint job from Cecilia Jimenez, the elderly Spanish woman responsible for the Potato Jesus meme.
In truth, I’m assuming that the person who owns the bike is the same person who did the paint work. But imagine if it wasn’t. Imagine someone going into a paint shop and asking for this.
“I want boobs and skulls.”
“Uhm, OK. Anything else?”
“No. Boobs and skulls.”
But, hey, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Maybe this is exactly what you want in your life. I don’t. I couldn’t afford it if I did. This is not one for the What I Can Afford files; the seller is asking $10,500.
Leave a Reply